it seems one may never have the best of both worlds...
it seems as if the moment that i had nel... i began to lose some of my friends...
friends which i esteem pretty highly...
gradually... shiang ceased to tell me about her troubles...
heh... i think many would agree it is a blessin in disguise really...
heh... yet honestly i do miss her mindless chatter occasionally...
hmm... i never did gave her the idea that she would be imposin on me...
but the little silly assumed she must be takin up too much of my time...
anyhow... we are still pretty close because she remembers me very dearly...
occasionally... she pops by while i am workin with an apple strudel for me...
thank god really... i don't feel that despondent yet...

steph had altogether disappeared from my routine...
hmm... steph used to be the friend i adored the most...
i guess it is the incident that made things sour...
i seldom remain angry with one for long...
and it baffles me that i am fumin over her now...
i guess it is when there is a crisis such as that particular incident...
that the reactions of the people around you solidifies one's impression...
steph's reaction was utterly disappointin...
i must be tenfolds of an idiot not to see it in the past...

quan probably thinks i'm being obstinate...
it is disappointin really...
to observe how we are ceasin to be attuned to each other...
it is strange how there are somethings i wish to tell her...
but doesn't come out anymore...
seriously... how come my friends above all seem to be pressin me to make a choice...
can't i have the best of both worlds...